Of course, abort if you can. It’s indefensibly cruel to bring a child into this overpopulated, dying world. If you live in jesusland, maybe get a job as a caterer and read your swift.
If you are stuck in this veil of tears, at least keep your kid away from the books. I can see now how most of my adult social problems stem from faulty wiring in my vocabulary filter. I’ve got at least 4x the average american vocabulary and any verbal interaction, especially with a stranger, requires a lot of lightening-fast rephrasing to try not to lose the audience. It requires good faith on the part of the stranger, though. If they want me to sound like an asshole, somehow my autistic ass picks that up and routes my words through the filter they want unless I’m hyperfocusing on the social side of things. Since I’m stuck in a disassociated trauma response, that rarely happens. I can come down for sex, intelligent conversation, and making my turds taste good on the way in. Otherwise, my eyes are open but I’m not seeing.
Fucking books.
Books are worse than just filling you up with useless words. In addition to all the unnecessary words leading to unnecessary thoughts your spawn wouldn’t otherwise be able to think, there’s hardly any way to read books without learning stuff. Discourage that in your kid, especially the boys. Remember—ignorance always wins, and ignorance only trumps knowledge with violence. If you want your kid to grow up to be happy, teach shim Krav Maga. And nothing else. Otherwise, ignorance will bring a gun. Or a bigger gun. Or a drone. Or nuke the world, which is already in the mail which is why you should abort rather than inflict life on somebody.
The idea that there’s anything wrong with suicide is just jesus’ way of keeping the slaves showing up for work.
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This decomposition shit is insidious. I’m now wondering if they had a plant in my woman’s life. You know—the one who kept trying to kill me. Once I figured out there really is behind the scenes fuckery like that going on, I’m chalking all the crazy behavior of the few people I let into my life as somehow being provoked by the feds/state/lords/power. Whomever it is that decided all the potential leaders in the West need to be neutralized as children, and then carried it out.
I really hope they were manipulating all the cruelty I’ve experienced at the hands of otherwise “respectable” people. I mean—my view of humanity is dark enough. I still have a hard time thinking it’s normal to kill a lover rather than ask him to leave. Somebody was pouring poison into her ear. And, for the record, that’s a fucked-up thing to do to somebody’s parents and love, especially when they have nobody else. Truman isn’t happy, he’s batshit crazy because he has no reference point to understand why his world is so weird. Fuck you assholes. At least Kurt warned me. It’s hard to not go all Dwayne Hoover when you’re in that shit.
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They wouldn’t do anything for my woman’s morning sickness and she had to abort or die. She was even smarter than me. Now I suspect they were causing the morning sickness. They definitely caused my father to respond with harsh mockery when I told him he was going to be a grandfather, and then blame me for the fact that she had to get a medical abortion. Reality is just an excuse, you know. Just ask the donald. Or my pops. I told a woman she was a patsy being set up by organized crime and the cops came at me in my elevator; told me to stop upsetting her. Like the way Biden’s upsetting the trumptarts by insisting they respect the american electoral process. Hey idiots—it’s being gamed above that level. It doesn’t matter who the president is.
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*sigh* I wish they’d let me out of this trauma response. I now know how to form a relationship with my father, but think I’ve been told I won’t be allowed. I’m stuck in a one mistake world and so am a little cautious about this stuff. I don’t mind taking the early bus, but I really feel it should be my decision how and when. If every mass shooting asshole gets that privilege, how about the guy who would have kept that shit from happening? At least, I would have been a powerful force against. Reality should have gotten a voice back when there was still time to fix shit. Of course, there’s always still time. Faith just won’t let us. Faith is omnicidal and wants to die. The ‘left behind’ crowd aren’t even sublimating their death wish any more.